


Long Time Wondering

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27703991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Long Time Wondering

Different-flavored chuupets, bicycle rides, hula hoops, swings, youthful laughter, matching best friend bracelets, mud puddles, the feeling of grass on skin, oddly-shaped rubber bands, the smell of crayons, soft drinks in plastic sachets, lazy mornings with the smell of pancakes and dried fish – childhood.

Rintarou and Osamu watched each other grow before their eyes. Big, curious eyes – the whirlwind of life still unbeknownst to them, wanting to explore everything, to reach the stars, to see the world. 

Such innocence.

Growing up, linked by the hip, even if they’ve been acquainted to different people, at the end of the day, it’s still rintarou and osamu.

Comfortable silences, falling asleep on each other’s shoulder at the back of the bus, going to school together, going home from school together, doing homeworks together, failing classes together, yet redeeming themselves on the next exam together. 

It’s always been like that.

So, it was inevitable: falling in love.

“Yo, Samu. I think I’m gay.” Suna casually brought up during one time they were on their way home. 

“Ya _think_? I’ve figured out ya were gay years ago when that dude from fifth grade winked at ya and ya had a massive meltdown.”

“But that time I thought it was weird!”

“Nah, you good.”

Flustered with the relaxed reply, Suna asked, “why? are you?” 

“Dunno. Maybe.”

  
It was a challenge.

“Wanna find out?” A childish provocation.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Then Rintarou planted a feather-like kiss on Osamu’s cheek.

However light the kiss was, brought heavy silence between them. Although, it was still a comfortable one.

One that screamed: _oh, shit. we’re gay for each other._

And so they went home with full hearts, linked pinkies and flushed cheeks.

-

Yearning for an irrecoverable time is immensely hopeless. it’s riding on a bus with an eternal route, always moving forward, no stops, and never to look back. 

But Rintarou is both inside and outside of the bus. He’s a walking paradox. A clear exception for the philosophical principle of contradiction. That a thing cannot both be and not be at the same time in the same respect. 

That’s precisely his struggle.

Because right now, all he could think of are questions.

_It’s been a long time._

_How is he?_

_I wonder if his hair is long?_

_He was always leaning on the thinner side, I wonder if he’s gained muscles?_

_Did he chase his dreams? I’d hope so. Even if it means that I’m out of the picture._

_Did he marry someone?_

~~_Does he still feel the same for me?_ ~~

~~_Does he still love me?_ ~~

~~_I wish I could go back to it._ ~~

  
  


All men are, and will inevitably be, victims of life. In Rintarou's case, it was in the form of Osamu Miya. 

Now, Rintarou’s body is frail, hair is silver, skin wrinkled, and vision blurry. 

A silent tear falls from Rintarou’s eyes. Trails of youth now dissipated in the past, however the memories will always be alive. Always.

_63 years and I still cry sometimes._

_First love never dies._

_I will never love again._

  
  
  



End file.
